Growing up, I was always considered "sweet," "smart," and "shy." Why is me "coming out of my shell," as people told me to do, considered silly?
People at school wanted me to come out of my shell, but a large percentage of people I'm related to seem to think it's silly. They blame their family issues on me.
Oh, and, also, when I invited friends over, they said I wasn't shy at all and just really loud and talkative or something. They wondered why I seemed shy at school.
Funny, my family some wanted a private life and rejected wanting to exist in my situation or acknowledge certain things, but now my family issues have gone global, save the fact they broke lose at all.
My family life and extended family life … have fallen apart.
My few friends fled ferociously, with me to blame for our "disagreement."
I don't have much socially, as I'm just on people's "shit list." There are some people who are nice to me, but I'm still "in the dog house" the way they see it. There are other things going on in my life, on top of that, and people with secret relationships with me who people try to keep me from associating with.
A lot of strangers think I'm silly, I know here in the Orlando area, just because they only believe in certain things that make the happy they hope at the end of the day. I know they can't even stand that I can be alone in my room to think and post online, etc. They think I should be thrusted in harm's way, for some oddball reason. Orlando has some wayward thinking, and they don't even realize it. I know for a fact they have real problems and expect to come out on top, whereas others they can trample below their feet without consequence, like they do in the Orlando area. I'm not here to be fought and have people realize things about me and magnify them like they mean something bad and are a big deal. That's what passerby walking do here, at least to me. I know things. I've been in this area for 13 years, unfortunately. I couldn't fit in the same way as I used to. I've ended up "trying" different things. I often yearn to live in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on the beach, or that area, partially because I'm originally from there and liked it and it makes me happy and in new ways. However, I am trying to move to Germany and experience classical music or study like I wanted or someday perform. I am part German and my mom is from out-of-the-US, so I might fit in better than most immigrants. I know nonwhite people like being nonwhite, but I like being white, so there exists some difference. Asians pass as white, but I may have Southeastern Chinese and some Polynesian, which has Australoid, black tribes from Australia, according to Wikipedia.
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